Random funny/amusing stuff.

[Richard]

I don't want the boards to start getting spammed, but I received the story below the other day, some of you may have seen it already but it's very funny. We may start a new board for random funny stuff/links, we'll see. But if anyone has anything really funny/amusing to put on - do it here.

Anyway mine is in the next post (sorry it's sooo long):

[Richard]

STELLA AWARDS

It's time once again to review the winners of the annual "Stella
Awards." The Stellas are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who
spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case
inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous successful
lawsuits in the United States. Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit
implicating McDonalds, the teens who allege that eating at McDonalds
has made them fat, was filed after the 2002 award voting was closed.
This suit will top the 2003 list without question. The following are
this year's winners:

5th Place (tie):

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury
of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who
was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving
little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

5th Place (tie):

19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel
of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

5th Place (tie):

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he
had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to
get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning. He couldn't reenter the house because the door
connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The
family was on vacation, and Mr.Dickson found himself locked in the
garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and
a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance
claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury
agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th Place:

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and
medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door
neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced
yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog
might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams
who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson
of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft

drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor
because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier
during an argument.

2nd Place:

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a
nightclub in a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom
window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This
occurred while Ms Walton was trying to sneak in through the window
in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was
awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place:

This year's run-away winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago
motor home. On his first trip home, (from an OU football game),
having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph
and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back and make
himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway,
crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not
advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do
this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motorhome. The
company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit,
just in case there were any other complete morons buying their
recreation vehicles.